Ramble on....

Slow and steady wins the race. 

Often we get in a hurry to lose the weight and in that rush disappointment ensues and we just lose focus. I am really trying hard not to lose focus 13 pounds in 13 weeks is a good average. I keep telling myself that. I can be such a player though. I am selfish. I know sacrifice is key and let me tell you I have not given up anything. I still drink alcohol, I still eat pizza, and I still think that if I gave up on these for a while my loss would get better. I could also exercise more too. Here is also where the selfishness comes in, my boyfriend. sigh. I spend an awful lot of time with him and I sacrifice my exercise time to spend with him. I know I know I could ask him to exercise with me and I'm sure we could get creative with it. I also know he is more than willing to engage, I guess what it really boils down to is me. I Just need to Do It!

Like right now I have a brand new bike that is sitting in the back yard that I have ridden less than 5 times since I bought it. I really need to plan this out more. It is only getting hotter out there. I haven't been out for a walk in over 2 weeks now too. On the other hand Highlands War is coming up and I know that will involve lots of walking and hopefully some dancing. I am also sure my diet will be in more control there as well as I will only be eating what I bring. I am usually good about my own food. I only buy stuff that is good for me. Usually it's the people I am surrounded by that introduce the "bad choices" into my day. Such as the "drug rep's" bringing pastries and leaving them on my desk. My roommates bringing Cakes and Cookies and leaving them on the counter. Friends with their come over we are BBQing ribs. I mean I am truly a food lover and who doesn't like BBQ Ribs? There are days that it can be really hard to stick to the plan. Especially in my busy social life. This is the first weekend in over two months that I am actually home being lazy and doing absolutely nothing but indulging in a truly enticing book. Ah it has felt lovely!

Boyfriend

I have not had one of these in quite some time. Yes there have been men in my life coming and going but none that I took seriously. Yup I said it, None that "I" took seriously. 

I am very protective of my heart. One counselor told me one time "You don't build walls, no that would be to boring for you. You sit on a pile of bricks and when someone gets close enough and threatens you, You throw Bricks."

I had to agree. I was violently reactive at that time in my life. I don't believe I throw the bricks any more though I don't believe I have abandoned them entirely either. I think now I just get quiet for awhile and then address the issue when I am ready. Gosh I grew up! Crap when did that happen?!

So having a boyfriend has been quite a learning experience. Though I think this is a good one as we seem to be pretty compatible in lots of ways. He says he likes that there are no guessing games with me, which I like. I like that I can say anything to him. Like "go away" and he does without getting all butt hurt about it.  We tend to spend every free moment with each other and that I know will change as we grow closer. Someone said about us recently that we were in the "honeymoon stage" still, Yeah she's right we are. I like it! 

So I have Rambled on not sure I said anything too awful interesting but it's nice to put down my thoughts sometimes. Thanks for listening......

Lost again!

 2 pounds

That is no small feat my friends. It seemed like I overdid it when I shouldn't have and that I didn't do enough exercise and yet the scale was kind. I am glad because some days you just want to have that certain something and you know you shouldn't, well I gave in a couple of times eating Pan Pizza for one. I have no idea why  I lost weight but I did. 

Is it really that hard to believe?

I definitely have changed my habits and I am certainly mindful of what I am doing even when I make a choice to eat something I probably shouldn't so the long term mindset is kicking in for sure. I also noticed this week that I am able to stop myself from going super overboard and that I am able to keep the portion sizes down and still feel satisfied. So even though It felt like I did bad I guess it truly is setting in to be a habit heading towards a lifestyle.  I went to a couple of parties and on all of the occasions I made sure to bring healthy choices whether it was fruit tray, veggie tray, and lite beers. That way I always had something good to choose from. I also made good choices at the bar, picking Bloody Mary's instead of dark beer or something else high in sugar or calories. I know I must have gotten in some exercise swimming around the pool playing with my friends that I did not account for either.....so I guess all in all I am thinking about things and making better decisions and that It's not impossible to believe I could lose the 2 pounds this week. I do know that it is not going to get any easier though and that I need to keep focused if I am going to reach my goal. The more weight I lose the less food I get to consume in order to lose. That means soon enough the alcohol consumption is going to have to be cut back even more. I'm OK with that. I think! ha ha ha!

Measuring up

So way back when I started this journey before I fell off the proverbial wagon, I took measurements of my arms, thighs, waist, bust and hips. I am undecided whether or not to use those as my starting point now, or just remeasure. I did those measurements when I was at my heaviest and technically that is where this journey started. I just wonder if It would just be wise to start with my measurements from now. hmmm. Any thoughts? Out with the old and in with the new? What say you? Is anybody reading this.....LOL

Until next time...............

I finally reached it! minus 10lbs!

Yay!

Boy were there some ups and downs. I was worried about today because the last 2 weeks were not so good with gains, but I did good. The loss for today was a total of -2.8lbs put me right over that little goal I was reaching for. Now to aim for my 10 % goal of -23 pounds will take me to 207 lbs.  I figure if I get down to the nitty gritty and get in some workouts, watch my alcohol intake it shouldn't take me more than a couple of months to get there. Though I'm not putting a time limit on it, I'm just going to reach for it and keep on with it no matter what. So as you see in the picture above I got a Ribbon for my efforts from WW. They give you little things like this, a ribbon for every 10, a key chain for your 10% charms for sticking it out and reaching other goals. So it will be fun to see those as i get them. 

So I went a bought me a bike, nothing fancy just the Kmart special on sale for $79. bucks. 

I've gotten on it 3 times so far. I really need to prioritize some time to go riding. I can always think of something else I could be doing, ya know?! So far I am enjoying it though. I used to go walking on my lunch hour but it is starting to get too hot to go. I know 82 degrees isn't that bad but I do have to work the rest of the day and don't wanna stink to high heaven all afternoon. So in an effort to replace that walk I plan to ride my bike in the evening. At least at home I can clean up afterwards. I just got permission to go over to my friends house and use his workout machine, i think it's an elliptical, but not positive.  Plus, he lives close enough to ride my bike to and from! I'm excited, Yay!

Hello Kitty!

I had a really crappy Monday yesterday. So much so that one of my patients from work felt like doing something nice to cheer me up. She sent me an Edible Arrangement. AWE! Made my day. I totally wanted to cry but you will never see me do that! Not at work. ever. I saw the delivery guy walk in and thought the delivery was for another one of my coworkers cuz it was her birthday. So I asked who he was looking for and he said "Judy" I was like WHAT?! thinking in my head who would do this for me? So trying not to tear up I signed for it and ran back to my desk. I called the patient and thanked her. She really and truly made my day! Too bad it wasn't from a certain guy sigh!  

Maybe someday.....

Holding the frustrations at bay and not giving up!!

One day I'll get it right!

I try and I try and I try but I am always having fun with friends and my weight loss journey hits speed bumps. I am in week 8 and down 8 pounds. I know 1 pound a week is good but honestly I've been going the wrong direction for 2 weeks now. It's the beer and good food. I know it is. I keep telling myself I can do this and Believe me I try but I waver or I don't count what I'm eating until after the fact and It costs me. So last week I gained 0.6lbs and this week I gained 1.2lbs. Today (Wednesday) Starts my week over and I am going to do my best to track my food first so I know going in just how much I am going to consume and I will make good chioces!

Oh and to my "FRIENDS" stop being so discouraging by saying "you're hanging around the wrong crowd for that" or "why are you drinking that crappy low calorie beer" or "dont you like my food" it just is not supportive and makes me feel guilty. Even though I know it shouldn't. I also don't want Food Police for friends. If I say no just accept it and don't take it personal. OK? Thanks!

On the bright side...

I bought a bicycle! It's nothing special just a bike from Kmart that cost me less than $100 bucks. I know I am not ambitious enough to go out and ride more than a mile or two right now but it is more than I was doing. I miss Riding with my Krusty Pirate, he is a lot of fun to hang with, but he moved away and now I'm going at it alone. I am sure I can find someone who will go with me but for now I'm happy to ride alone. I have a couple of friends who live within a mile or two so I have destinations and not just random wandering, that's fun too sometimes don't get me wrong. I bought the bike cuz it's starting to get hotter out there during lunch hours and my walks are not going to be an option soon. Been thinking of lugging my laptop to the office and doing a workout video in the spare room we have there. We'll see how it goes....

Everyday life, work and fun.....

Work is changing my Position in the office a bit. I will no longer be working with the PA, but with Dr. L instead. I am kind of looking forward to it. It will be a challenge and my hours will change a bit but I like him and we seem to work well together. Definitely going to be busier in some respects though.

Met some new friends at Estrella War a few weeks ago and have been having a good time getting to know them. My other good friends also started a dinner club including the new friends and the first event was a great success! We had lots of fun, good food, everybody brought a dish and made it there. It was awesome! Going to do that again soon.....and I'm going to plan for it better this time! Though I don't think it was that particular night that did me in, I believe it was the night before that did that, I will have to choose one night a week to have that kind of fun and not twice a week.

Attention from a boy!

Yep, me, someone thinks I'm cool to hang with and is paying attention to me a lot lately. I'm flattered and glad I have someone to spend time with. I have been alone for a long time and well.......it's nice. No not calling it a relationship or labeling it yet just enjoying each others company for now.

So that's what's up in my life. Looking forward, staying positive, looking for ways to make this work and keepin on keepin on.....<3 U All!

Week 3 and I'm a LOSER again!

Yay! -1.8 lbs!

I ate 4 slices of pizza on Friday had drinks with friends on Saturday, ate those darned little yellow cakes my roomies bought to tempt me with, all within the guidelines outlined by WW, and I lost! 

NO my roomies didn't really buy the cakes with sabotaging me in mind but darned if they aren't tempting. So I at them. 

This week has been good. I actually did some sewing, Yes I said sewing. Me, no really, I sat down at a sewing machine and put together 3 pairs of pants. Mind you nothing fancy but for me a real accomplishment. If anyone ever said to me before in my life that one day I would sit at a sewing machine making my own clothes I would have laughed in their face. So I am pretty proud that I was able to do it. I had the awesome guidance of a friend to help me, but I did it. I actually want to go shopping for fabric to make more stuff. I have a feeling if I keep losing weight I'm going to have to make even more clothes. I guess I will be busy!

Short blog tonight, I just wanted to share my success on the scale! 

til I blog again................

WW I'm BACK!

Here I am again, I know, Will I ever get to my goal? God I hope so! 1 & 1/2 weeks ago I decided to recommit to Weight Watchers. I officially weighed in at 230 pounds. So I gained back a few. My 5% goal is to reach 218. I lost 4 pounds in the first week. So, so far, I'm doing well. I have chosen Tuesday night as my meeting night but don't log my weight into the WW tracker until Wednesday morning. I wanted the tracker to start my week on Wednesday not Tuesday so that's why I don't officially enter my weight until Wed even though I weigh on Tuesday night. Makes sense to me so that's how I'm doing it. I have decided to pay for the WW meetings so that I have the accountability and support of the people and my leader. They all seem very nice.

Party Girl!

Yeah you know me forever the social butterfly. It has not stopped. I am having to learn to plan out my parties and camping events with much care. Also my alcohol intake. I can drink on WW but I most definitely have to watch the amount I consume. In my first week back to WW I had 2 happy hours to get through on Friday night, a Costumed party on sat night, and the Renaissance Festival on Sunday. It was a little tricky to get through but I did it and still managed to lose weight. So Woo Hoo for me!

Estrella War is coming up at the end of this month. I truly have my work cut out for me on this one. I will be away for 5 days and have to plan out the entire trip of food, drink and fun. Lucky for me the campsite is pretty big and I will be doing a great deal of walking. This will totally help me out as far as calorie burning. I pretty much think I have the weeks menu planned with lean meats, stirfry veggies, Yogurts, Hummus and Veggie trays, and things like that. We are doing a Steak and Potatoes Night and I plan on bringing my Sweet Potato for that! Lots of Fruit for snacking as well. So I pretty much have that covered. Now to remember to say NO to all (okay Most) the offerings of "hey try my mead, I brewed it myself" or just take tiny little sips of them. Some of them are really really good though. Plus I will be one of those people as I have made my own cordials to pass around too!

Anyway's....

I'm back and will be again sharing my journey with you as well as my life. I will write to you again next week with week 2 weigh in results.

bye!

22 Years, 11 Years, & 5 Months!

Happy Mother's Day!

So today I am a mother of a handsome 22 year old Man. Robert. His Birthday is actually Thursday the 12th then it will be 22 years officially. I love him very much and am VERY proud of him. 

Here he is Rockin out on his guitar! Such a handsome talented man! Im so proud. 

That signifies the 22 years as a mom! So What's the 11 Years you ask?

Today I am officially 11 years Drug Free!

Yup Today 11 years ago I checked myself into a 1 year program at a Faith based Rehabilitation center for people with life changing problems. TEEN CHALLENGE OF FORT WORTH TX. There I learned the difference between right and wrong again, what it means to have a personal relationship with God, how to feel loved and like i belonged, that I am a precious life that deserves to live, and be happy. Woo Hoo! It was the best thing I ever did!

I had even quit smoking and if I hadn't picked that darn nasty habit up again 2 1/2 years ago it would be 11 years for that too, but alas...

5 Months No Smoking!

Woo Hoo! I did it again! 

Yup I had to go through the whole darned process again. 

*smack me please if i ever do it again*

I'm losin' it!

Ok so when I started this venture to lose weight I weighed in at 238. I am down to 218 as of this past Monday. I will weigh in tomorrow and hopefully be down even more. We will see. I am having some struggles with this. It can be a challenge to keep my hand to mouth action in check but I am getting better at it. Keeping track of my calorie intake has helped me a Lot. Sparkpeople has been really neat for that and for the community of support I am building there. I ordered "The Spark" It's a book about......hmm well to be honest I'm not positive what it all entails but it should help me in the area of improving my dietary habits, and hopefully better learn to lose weight. I already know a lot on the subject but you never know what else you can learn if you don't get out there and research it more. So I'm going to read it and see if it helps. I am trying to stay focused and keeping my mind on the subject is key to my success. I am determined to have lost a significant amount of weight by the 1st of next year. Hopefully 50 pounds. So we'll see. I'm trying.

Parties Galore!

Oh my gosh there seems to be no stopping me! This social butterfly is just a flapping her wings. I have gone to more parties. First was the Bizarre of the Bizzar party. We all dressed in our costumes and had a blast, watched some belly dancing, enjoyed good music and good friends. Then there was a friends house warming party where we actually did a Maypole.

 I had never done one and It was totally fun! It is always great to see friends lives changing for the better as well. As I mentioned earlier my Son's birthday is coming up. We celebrated his Birthday yesterday with my Brother in law who's birthday was last week. They threw a Sumo Wrestling Match of Death Party last night. We had a blast!

That's me in the Red and my friend Jackie coming at me in the blue!  Sooo Much fun!

I thought I did pretty well keeping track of my intake during these events but it is still hard at times. I am getting better at planning out what I am eating and watching what I eat. I know I didn't eat like I used to but still didn't succeed at being where I needed to be calorie wise.  One party at a time I will get better. 

A couple of weeks away we are renting a theatre and dressing up in medieval garb/pirate outfits and watching the new Pirate's of the Caribbean movie, then Highlands War is next month, so I had better get this learning to eat at parties and events thing down soon.