Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Cha cha changes!

(Isn't this pic just great maybe doesn't apply to my life totally right now but it did once and I think everyone should know that if you really want to change you should just do it! It's hard sometimes and sometimes it's fun but Change is inevitable and you may as well be the one in control of how it changes)
Life is changing for the better me thinks! 
Over the last 7 weeks I have been focused on being in Love. We have spent every waking minute together that we possibly could and it is Wonderful. Then life happens and you have to get real and make the changes necessary to make a go of the long haul together. That is if that is what you want to do, and for me and Gregg, well we do.  Adjusting our schedules, figuring out likes dislikes and needs, all that, well it's been fun. I have wanted this for a long time. I wanted it to be with someone I really loved and now I really get to do it! I'm so happy. I know mush mush but hey deal with it! Ha ha! I have never truly been in a relationship where two people worked together toward a common goal. I know right? how can that be? I just always fell into being with guys and never truly tried to make it something more. Usually we were both so messed up one way or another we never really cared and were with each other for the mere convenience of it. Sad I know. So slowly but surely we are figuring it out and it's been great. 
Eating out and drinking
has been the norm, and my weigh ins have shown that. I know I could've planned better and drank less but I didn't. so I was in a Rut and had to work out of it. I still haven't gotten back to exercizing, but I did refocus my food tracking, beer drinking and eating right efforts and it payed off. I lost 4.2lbs this week. I earned another 5lbs star from WW. This brings me to a total of -15lbs since I first started. My total could have been so much better but I'm glad to finally be at this point and not back to the bitter beginning. I shared my desires with Gregg and he too would like to see me succeed, if not join me in my efforts. So I have his support and he is trying to encourage me to go hiking with him too. I keep turning down his invitations because of the pain I suffer in my feet when I  hike. So for the immediate future I will try to find other ways to get in some exercize. It's encouraging to me though that I have his support and that of my family and friends. This I knew would be a long hard road for me, but I will make it. One way or another I will make it to my goal.
I forget!
OMG! Really Judy? I have lost, misplaced or forgotten my phone so many times in the last two months it is freakin ridiculous! So much so that my friends on Facebook are still cracking jokes about it. Then yesterday what do i do? I lost the keys to my Gas cap. sheesh! I had to have it broken off and bought a new one just to put gas in my truck for the week. I swear if my head were not attached I'd forget where it was too!
On the bright side
We have managed to work out a budget to save money for both of us. I went through the boxes I have had stored in the Garage for  about 12 years and decided to get rid of most of the books that are there. I did save some of them, but 7 boxes are going to the book exchange and I'm going to get some music or new books, or if the price is right I'll just take the cash. 

I am looking forward to doing some fun things too. I am going tubing down the Salt River this Saturday with friends. Then our SCA camping event Too Darn Hot is happening the following weekend and sometime in there I am going to go see Magic Mike with my BFF and Sister! Woo hoo for Hot Men Stripping! Then at the end of the month of July for Gregg's Birthday we are going to California to see his friend band play, The American Wake. I am really looking forward to this, and my Bff and her husband are joining us! 
I have much to be Greatful for lately and I couldn't be happier. So until next blog.......Muah! 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Don't Be Anastasia!

Dear Judy,
There are a few things in WW life that I've come to accept.

The reality is that not everyone is ready. Not everyone is truly committed. For many, while the stated goal is to lose weight, the implied goal is really not to gain weight.

That's how you get the cluster of older ladies in your meeting who've been doing WW since the days of making your own ketchup and never show any meaningful progress.

In their minds, the alternative of gaining weight is enough to put their butts in the seats, but the reward of actually losing weight and being healthier isn't strong enough to incite them to action or to change their habits.

Like Anastasia, they "track" intuitively. They've done the program so long that they just kinda "know" what they're eating. In reality, they don't. And if they're honest with themselves, they probably don't care all that much either.

Working with these folks at the scale is a real challenge. Your first instinct is to try to help. But, they don't really want the help because they don't really want to change. It's remarkably frustrating.
They are long on excuses why they can't do this or that because they are busy with bridge club or church or whatever. Those excuses are what they use to justify the lack of progress on their WLJ, when it's really a commitment issue at the heart of it.

Anastasia is one of those ladies. We are her blue-haired friends (in the computer) that she will show the pictures of the grandkids to. We are the ones that go on that weekly 20 minute walk with her while she talks about her nephew's wedding in Peru. Or her 9th cruise to St. Croix. Or how she felt like Shamu on the last cruise and *this* time she's serious about dropping the weight.

And we'll knowingly pat her hand and tell that she can certainly do it. We'll offer to join in that effort and do an extra lap with her that day because that's what good friends do.

We'll commit to an extra walk a week - to Starbucks, of course. Where we get scones because we earned them with our heavy-duty exercise walking to the corner and back.

And then the first rain conflicting with the walk comes and we just decide to drive to Starbucks instead, don't we?

And we go to that meeting every week and nothing changes.

We can only try kicking people in the butt so much, before you come to accept the futility of that effort. They have to want change and act upon that desire.

MANY of us in here aren't there yet. MANY of us are likely destined to drive Buick Regals, 20 miles under the speed limit, in the left lane. Because we're in a hurry to get to our WW meeting...................

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Losing Focus and Finding Love

Oh my gosh, I know, I have been at this for 16 weeks now and very little weight has come off. I even put almost 4 pounds back on over the past two weeks.  Yikes!  I told myself though that this time I was not going to give up no matter how many times I screw up. Lately my focus has been on other things. Planning for Highlands War, Going to War, Making poor choices for food at war, not taking advantage of the opportunity to walk more at war. Yeah and then there is the time spent with my Love. 
Yep! I said it I'm in LOVE!
I have spent almost all of my free time with him too. We have been lazy getting to know each other, hanging out at home drinking beers on the patio, going out to dinner, hanging out with friends, that I slacked off. Yep it's all me. I would love to put the blame on someone else but really it's all on me, I know better. So I had to ask him, Gregg, the man who holds my heart, to help me be more active.  He said that he would also like to get down a few pounds and get in better shape himself. Now we are walking together every evening. Yeah so far it has only been for the past 2 nights, but if it had not been for him encouraging me and making me go I probably would have made excuses not too. "My feet hurt" Is the main one. It is true my feet do hurt but I don't want that to stop me. I want to change that. Just means that I have to take off some of the weight which will help with the pressure, and I have to do stretches to help with the inflamed tendon, the Plantar Fascia, otherwise known at Planter Fasciitis. I also suffer with heel spurs, little pointy growths on the bottom of my heels of calcium that build up on the edge of the heel bone where the PF tendon connects. NOT FUN!  Which is only fixed by going in with a knife and scraping it off. Surgery. Without Insurance that is not going to happen anytime soon. Oh well. 
Being In Love
I have been alone for a very long time. In my opinion 12 years. Yes I tried with a couple of guys but none of them were really in love with me nor I them. Well I will always love one of them, but he will never be the man I fell in love with again. So that was doomed anyway. I have searched and given up hope that I would ever find someone who would like me let alone love me. Man did this one take me by Surprise. I knew him for almost 2 years before we ever connected like this. I didn't want to be his second choice and he was with someone. So I let him be. His situation changed and he came calling on me. He and I laugh, we talk, we hold hands, we kiss (its been a long time since someone liked to kiss me and I'm a good kisser, LOL), we hold hands, I was not expecting to fall for him, but I did. I even resisted for a short while not believing I could love, wondering if I knew what love is. It sort of hit me all at once one night. It surprised me a great deal. I didn't believe other people when the told me that if someone loves you it doesn't matter what you weigh. It doesn't matter what you look like. They will love you for who you are. I wanted to believe that was possible, but I had a great deal of doubt. I had been alone for a very long time.  I truly am surprised by this man. I am still going to lose weight for me because I want my self image to be what I believe it should be for my own personal happiness. I am forever grateful to know his love for me doesn't depend on whether or not I reach my weight loss goals, He fell for me the way I am. What more could I ask for?  I really think were going to be very happy together for a long time. So once again My heart hopes, My mind has faith and now I truly believe I know Love. 
I am a very happy girl
1st Corinthians 13 verse 13
(my verse, my device, my truth)
And now these three remain: Faith Hope and Love the greatest of these is Love
Thanks God.