22 Years, 11 Years, & 5 Months!

Happy Mother's Day!

So today I am a mother of a handsome 22 year old Man. Robert. His Birthday is actually Thursday the 12th then it will be 22 years officially. I love him very much and am VERY proud of him. 

Here he is Rockin out on his guitar! Such a handsome talented man! Im so proud. 

That signifies the 22 years as a mom! So What's the 11 Years you ask?

Today I am officially 11 years Drug Free!

Yup Today 11 years ago I checked myself into a 1 year program at a Faith based Rehabilitation center for people with life changing problems. TEEN CHALLENGE OF FORT WORTH TX. There I learned the difference between right and wrong again, what it means to have a personal relationship with God, how to feel loved and like i belonged, that I am a precious life that deserves to live, and be happy. Woo Hoo! It was the best thing I ever did!

I had even quit smoking and if I hadn't picked that darn nasty habit up again 2 1/2 years ago it would be 11 years for that too, but alas...

5 Months No Smoking!

Woo Hoo! I did it again! 

Yup I had to go through the whole darned process again. 

*smack me please if i ever do it again*

I'm losin' it!

Ok so when I started this venture to lose weight I weighed in at 238. I am down to 218 as of this past Monday. I will weigh in tomorrow and hopefully be down even more. We will see. I am having some struggles with this. It can be a challenge to keep my hand to mouth action in check but I am getting better at it. Keeping track of my calorie intake has helped me a Lot. Sparkpeople has been really neat for that and for the community of support I am building there. I ordered "The Spark" It's a book about......hmm well to be honest I'm not positive what it all entails but it should help me in the area of improving my dietary habits, and hopefully better learn to lose weight. I already know a lot on the subject but you never know what else you can learn if you don't get out there and research it more. So I'm going to read it and see if it helps. I am trying to stay focused and keeping my mind on the subject is key to my success. I am determined to have lost a significant amount of weight by the 1st of next year. Hopefully 50 pounds. So we'll see. I'm trying.

Parties Galore!

Oh my gosh there seems to be no stopping me! This social butterfly is just a flapping her wings. I have gone to more parties. First was the Bizarre of the Bizzar party. We all dressed in our costumes and had a blast, watched some belly dancing, enjoyed good music and good friends. Then there was a friends house warming party where we actually did a Maypole.

 I had never done one and It was totally fun! It is always great to see friends lives changing for the better as well. As I mentioned earlier my Son's birthday is coming up. We celebrated his Birthday yesterday with my Brother in law who's birthday was last week. They threw a Sumo Wrestling Match of Death Party last night. We had a blast!

That's me in the Red and my friend Jackie coming at me in the blue!  Sooo Much fun!

I thought I did pretty well keeping track of my intake during these events but it is still hard at times. I am getting better at planning out what I am eating and watching what I eat. I know I didn't eat like I used to but still didn't succeed at being where I needed to be calorie wise.  One party at a time I will get better. 

A couple of weeks away we are renting a theatre and dressing up in medieval garb/pirate outfits and watching the new Pirate's of the Caribbean movie, then Highlands War is next month, so I had better get this learning to eat at parties and events thing down soon. 

Hey Everybody!

Hey It's been awhile since I last wrote my blog!

4 weeks to be exact. I have lost 6 pounds since then and am quite happy with how things have been going. I am due to check my measurements at the end of this week but I have 2 parties I am attending so it probably wont happen until Monday at work. 

I have officially left Weight Watchers behind.  I am sure if I had given it more of a chance I could have figured it out and made the plan work for me, but I found that with Sparkpeople it is just as easy to manage my calories and weight, plus a whole lot more on their website. Most of all It is FREE! So I am saving $50. bucks a month. Which is going in the gas tank so forget having too much fun with that. 

Been Sweatin' my behind off, I hope!

I have also decided to get a little more serious about my workouts. I added in a 15 to 20 minute walk on my lunch hour, then on M, W, F I do one of my cardio DVD's at home in front of the TV. I have Tae Bo, Walk Away The Pounds, and Core Rythms latin dance. Then on Tu, Th, and Sat I go to the Gym and do Strength training on the weight machines. Theoretically, anyway, that is the plan. I don't always get all of that in but I try to be faithful to it!

Tunes! Yay!

So last blog I asked if any of you had any ideas of how I could make my workout less boring. I discovered on my Crackberry something called Slacker Radio. Yay! What a cool little thing. I put that on and go for my workouts and jam out to some upbeat music. Oh and my taste in music is expanding. I dont think I have ventured out of the Classic Rock Genre in many many years. So some of the songs you guys have been loving for over 10 years now, I am just discovering. One of the songs I have found especially inspiring is the unedited version of "Fucking Perfect" by PINK. I sometimes need a reminder that I am perfect just the way I am and if anyone says less than that can kiss my Ass even me. Well I still have to get my body in shape and healthy but hey we all need to be reminded we are worth it! Nobody is going to like or appreciate me if I don't like and appreciate myself, and if they do I wont believe it possible until I believe it of myself.  

To date or not to date?

So I have really been thinking of putting more of an effort into going out and meeting some guys. Get out into the dating world. It's not like I am not available for dates now, I just don't make it easy for men to approach me. A lot of that is my self esteem. I am working on the parts of me that I feel are in need of repair physically, so why not work on the part of me that is emotionally unsure of herself. I can play at, flirt with, and have short meaningless relationships really easily. That's not what I'm talking about. I want to find someone to get serious with. I waited a long time to make sure my head was on pretty straight before embarking on this endeavor, 11 years to be exact. I have never been married and I am looking at the possibility of doing that or finding someone just to share my life with, to have fun with, I think it's time.  I don't plan to rush into anything but I am learning to be more open about it. 

So tell me....What's your opinion of dating websites?

I think I will just leave it at that for now. ttys!

Spark it up!

Sparkpeople that is!

So I went to weigh in this past Monday and was totally disappointed again. I gained back 0.8lbs. Grrrr! I feel like the first week was awesome and then let down after let down. I know that only 4 weeks in an "average" loss of 1 1/2 lbs a week is fantastic by most peoples standards but not for me, my opinion of course. So what to do? be mad and binge eat or try to figure it out? well I'm serious about this endeavor so I reached out to my fellow Weight Watchers.  I knew that they were going to ask me to post a sample of one of my days menu so that they can critique it. I did and said have at it tell me what you see and what you think i should change. Gotta love the Ladies on the Newbie board as they did just that. It was determined that I am eating around 14 servings of mostly fruits and some veggies. That's a lot of fruit. It was my go to grab and munch, a bunch of grapes, a pear, an apple, strawberries. It even sounds good now! You see if you remember WW made fruit and vegetables 0 points plus. The trick here is that it is 0 points but not 0 calories. WW figures that people are sensible and wont eat that much fruit so there isn't too great a risk of it being a problem. I am a foodaholic I can eat a lot of food. That is why I'm so big. So when I was told at the meeting when I asked "how much fruit is too much?" and my leader said "feel free to eat as much as you want" I took her at her word. 

Big Mistake!

So my tried and true WW buddies suggested I put one of my WW menus into Sparkpeople (calorie counting website) and see just how much I was eating in a day, i did. The day I picked turns out I had eaten 2100 calories that day! Yikes! no wonder I gained.  I decided to continue to track my foods both ways on WW and Sparkpeople and see how it all pans out. I have to say that since I'm seeing the caloric intake on a constant basis it has kept me in check when wanting to reach for a piece of fruit because i can. I stop to actually think, do i really need that? Most times I just skip it and wait until I am really hungry not just bored munching. It also brings up the question, do i really need to continue paying WW for a program that I am not particularly finding as beneficial as their previous programs. Well I'm paid up for another month so we'll see if I renew at that time. 

I need ideas can you help?

I have been going to the gym but not for very long workouts. Mind you I didn't really want to go but figured that it's paid for and I am trying to lose weight I should use it, right!? So something is better than nothing, So I have been trying to go at least 4 days a week after work. It's been working out pretty good so far. I am getting on the elliptical because it is the easiest on my knees and boy does that machine get my heart a pumpin, breathin heavy, and pouring out the sweat (now wouldn't it be nice to find a guy who does that to me!). Not to mention I burn 2X the calories on it than any other machine in that gym. Here's the issue, I get so focused on how long it is taking and how fatigued it's making me feel that I am stopping the workout after 12 minutes. Which at the speed I am working at is one mile. I did manage to push through to 15 minutes today though.  I need something to distract my mind. I acquired one of the older model ipod shuffles but i have no idea how to download music or anything else to it, nor do i have an itunes account. My brother in law offered to help me with it but we are having a hard time connecting as we have busy lives and that's cool i totally understand. What I do have, but am not really sure how to use it to its full potential, is my Blackberry curve. Do you know does it download audio books? i think an audio book would be ideal for me. I love to read and holding a book on the elliptical is possible but not preferable. Have any of you tried this? do you like it? What do you do to occupy your mind while working out?
Let the games begin!
So the ladies at work have been listening to me talk of my efforts to lose weight for awhile now. It has inspired them to want to do it too. We decided to have a little competition to see who could lose the most % of weight in  a 2 month time period. Winner gets the pot, I think we agreed to either 10 or 20 bucks to enter. Woo Hoo! I'm excited about it. We have to warn all the Pharmaceutical Rep's to  bring healthy choices when they want to treat us to something. I know most days i can turn down Paradise Bakery but can my coworkers? hmm
That's all for now folks thanks for reading. I will write to you again soon I'm sure or I'll see you on one of my message boards and FB!
still haven't smoked 10 weeks tomorrow!!

Poppers Pizza and Beer OH My!

Jalapeno Poppers

(recipe from the WW newbie board)

8 jalapenos halved and De-seeded

place on a cookie sheet and bake for 40 minutes to wilt on 400 degrees

8 laughing cow cheese wedges cut in half

1/8 cup Parmesan cheese

8 slices of turkey bacon cut in half

once the jalapenos are done wilting take them out and place a 1/2 laughing cow wedge on each one and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Then wrap each one in 1/2 slice of turkey bacon and bake another 20 minutes.

if you like the bacon more crispy put into microwave for a min or two before wrapping the poppers. 

makes 16 poppers at 1 points plus!

My review of this recipe

I made these couple days ago and really liked them. The laughing cow cheese doesn't melt but gets really hot and will burn your mouth if you don't let it cool. I also think in the future that I would use 16 whole jalapenos and just cut down one side  and open them up then stuff and wrap them. Only because I really like the flavor and heat. So 4 out of 5 stars for these. Why not 5? yeah I just plain love real melty cheese. These are pretty darn good but would prefer to use a low fat mozzarella and deal with the extra points plus on occasion.

Week 3's weigh in:

I lost 1 pound. Yay! I wasn't sure I would lose anything because I did  

drink a lot over the weekend and didn't watch my intake. On the other hand i did go to the Renaissance Festival and that entails a whole lot of walking activity. 

I had a whole lot of fun both days and I even embraced the little girl in me and got my picture with Twig the Fairy!

She is the coolest! Anyway, I did get off my caboose and got back into the Gym! I still get really bored when exercising and want to find a good distraction so I am not watching the clock as I workout. I know that is my problem. If I were distracted and focused on something other than the fact that I hate what is going on, it's boring and It's kinda hard, I know I would last longer on the Elliptical or treadmill. So I will be trying to get with my Brother in law or someone else who is better educated about ipod's and how to upload stuff to them and i think i will be better off. My niece was kind enough to give me her old Ipod shuffle that she hasn't used for a long time. She's the best. Maybe one of these days I'll share some of her artwork with you, she is AMAZING!

So tonight is a lazy night and I was in the mood for pizza and beer. So that's what I had for dinner! god I love WW for allowing me to be real and still lose weight. (I could never give up pizza!)

Can you call it gaining weight if..............

I gained .2 lbs

Yes, I said point two. So Im calling it "I stayed the same". After the first weeks 7.4 pounds and an adjustment period of getting to know the program im still ahead of the game. I did have some weak moments this week. I realize I have to be careful if I'm gonna be drinking alcohol that I have to REALLY watch what I eat. When you drink your "give a shit" goes out the window and you will pretty much talk yourself into most anything. I know I do. I did stay within my alotted points this past week but I know I could have done better with some of my choices.

The Allergy Factor

I have known for most of my life that I have certain allergies to some foods. I guess I got used to avoiding them and at the same time forgot I have allergies. I did not know that I have an allergy to Edemame. Yeah the stuff i was raving about loving a couple of blogs ago. So good and fun to eat, but I was breaking out into mild cases of hives and itching at first and it steadily got worse. I thought it was the grapes at first but one day i didnt eat anything else yet that day and i served up a good helping of Edemame and Bam! Major hives. I was a madwoman on the hunt for Benadryl. Lucky for me my coworker had some. Crazy! Secretly glad it wasnt the grapes though. I would have been seriously bummed!

January 8th to March 8th

I made it to the 8 week mark without smoking.  I was even able to go out drinking and not have one. YAY!

Anyway for most of you who follow me on FB this stuff isnt new, except the part about my gaining. I still appreciate you reading my blog and helping me through my journey! I'll keep you posted.

Going to Ren Faire this coming weekend Ill try to have some silly Picture for ya next week!!

I'm such a LOSER!

I lost 7.4 lbs!

Yes I know it's honeymoon week with the diet but hey what a great way to kick it off! I gotta tell ya I really like the new ww plan. I am eating and eating and look at that loss. yes I am eating more fruit and veggies but I still enjoyed some tamales and steaks, even a cheese crisp in there this week. Hell I even ate a pop tart. Not the best choice but I wanted it. Lucky for me as long as I fit it into my points budget, whatever "it" may be, i can eat it, Or drink it! Believe me I had a drink or two in there too. I will say that the "cost" of an alcoholic beverage has gone up so if your on the new Points plus plan you should not pay attention to my previous blog about alcoholic drinks as it pertains to the old plans. All in all I am very happy with how the first week went. I love the fact that i can eat all the fruit I want without it costing me. It has seriously helped with the snacking, keeping me full and satisfied so i dont munch on crap all the time. 

Well anyway thanks for listening to me toot my own horn once again. I will blog again soon and keep you all posted. By the way, It's been 7 weeks since i smoked a cigarette!

Watching my food on the new plan.....Points Plus!

Day 4 week 1

So far in doing the new WW plan the major difference that I am loving and have concerns with is the "free fruit". All fruits and most veggies are 0 pointplus. Which is amazing because I can just grab  an apple or banana, berries or something like that and not feel guilty about eating it. I am staying full and not feeling drprived at all. This is a wonderful thing. So why concerned? Because to feel full and satisfied all day and not feel guilty is totally foreign to me.  I have never felt full all day long and thought I'm going to lose weight this way.  So peeking at the scale I have already dropped about 5 lbs and yes I do realize it is the initial "honeymoon" weight of the first week but obviously the fruit isnt holding me back. So I just need to trust and go with it!

Edamame!

Oh my gosh, my coworker  bought a huge bag of single serving, steam in bag,  packets of edamame in pods with seasalt from Sam's Club early this week.  I think I am addicted to them. They are fun to eat and they are low in points and they fill me up. High in protein too for keeping me full. They seem to get me through the morning until lunchtime as a mid morning snack. I like it! So I am off to buy a bag for myself and replace what I ate of hers.  I am open to suggestions of other easy to grab and snack on stuff. If you know of any please comment and let me know I would appreciate some variety.

Binge snacking!

 I had gotten used to snacking and watching tv in the evenings and last night was hard. I have 49 weekly points now to use whenever i want a little something extra during any given week. Thank God for this, because last night I was on an eating frenzy.  I just couldnt stop and hunger had nothing to do with it. It was all munching mindlessly. I did not go over my weekly points so I should still be good for weigh in but still!  I got on the WW message boards (newbies are the best!) to ask advise and they suggested that maybe i didnt have enough protein in my day. You know they were right. I had very little at lunch in my healty choice meal. I had some meat sauce  on my pasta and not much else except the edamame. I think this had a lot to do with it. The high carb dinner may have affected it too. I will have to watch that in the future.

I really should get off my ass!

I haven't been to the gym in quite a long time. I haven't done any exercizing at home. It's really been on my mind lately so I think I really need to get up and do Something/Anything. How do you get motivated?

is there something you tell yourself that keeps you  going to your workout?

Estrella War XXVII

As you can see I had a blast at war! Getting all dressed up Medieval style, Camping out, and getting together with good friends and making new ones, how can this girl go wrong! I got sick part way through the war but managed to get out and have a bit of fun anyway. Came home a day early but the entire trip was good. Missed out on a couple of parties and stuff due to my cold but next war is only 4 months away and hey Barmaid's is even sooner than that! Ive never gone to Barmaids but im thinking of doing it this year!  Besides I have a LOT of bottles of Alcohol left over I need to do something with! 

Jumped back on the WW wagon!

I joined Weight Watchers again!

I have not officially joined and actively worked the weight watchers program in 6 years. I have done the program without any support or meetings on my own but to no real success. I get 2 to 3 months into my weight loss joruney and i stop for one reason or another. I made the decision to make this the last year i have this belly and i mean to acheive that goal one way or antoher. So here i am paying my dues and going to meetings for support and encouragement.

PointsPlus!

What a whole new animal. This program is entirely different in the way they figure out the points and since I'm only on day one I have yet to form an opinion on it yet. I am giving it my best shot though and trying to be diligent in watching what i am eating and making sure i keep track of it. 

So off i go!

anyway off I go on my journey once again. weighing again 228 pounds. yup I gained 20 pounds back since last weigh in. sigh! wish me luck!!

Been feeling down on myself, cuz I let myself down.

Picking myself up again.....

So It wasnt that long ago that I decided it was time to get off my ass and lose weight. Got off to a great start and then I got a job. I tried for a little while to do it all. Work, go to the gym, be a friend to too many people, trying to do too much and then it all kinda slowly started to fall apart.  I didnt make it to the gym and finally quit going. Then I started smoking again. Pretty soon I didnt care what I was eating or how much. I cant even tell you how much weight i gained back. The lowest I got down to is 207. I think I am back up to 220 to maybe 222. I still hate being overweight and I know that is what is holding me back. I did manage to give quitting smoking another shot, and Im doing well at day 8 as of now.

I hate saying "my new years resolution is to............." but Tis the season. I have to do this. I am really tired of feeling this way both emotionally and physically.

I think I am going to go to Weight Watchers and Join the meetings. I did really well when I was going to meetings and I will also get the materials for their new Points Plus Plan. So I think thats part of the plan.  I am also not going to go out to the bar as much for a little while, maybe a few months.

I really need to avoid that situation until I have a better handle on not smoking.

So sorry for falling off the blog wagon, the weight loss wagon, the smoking wagon. Time to put a little effort back in to controlling my baser urges, and becoming the person I really want to be.

War is coming!

As you know, I love to play Medieval and the largest event in the Kingdom of Atenveldt (AZ), Estrella War, is in less than 30 days! Woo hoo! I got more outfits made and have been preparing for war. Planning time off at work and getting garb made.  Got me several new outfits with a more Celtic theme. Gonna explore my options in  creating a Persona in that culture. Should be fun. It will be interesting figuring out the Scottish/Irish ways. Then of course there is planning out my food, drinking, and staying on a weight loss plan while camping.  Should be fun.

Keeping me Accountable:

8 days no cigarettes, will go to WW meeting on Tues, and no ladies night on wed for this coming week so as to help me stay true in the no smoking process.