Cha cha changes!

(Isn't this pic just great maybe doesn't apply to my life totally right now but it did once and I think everyone should know that if you really want to change you should just do it! It's hard sometimes and sometimes it's fun but Change is inevitable and you may as well be the one in control of how it changes)

Life is changing for the better me thinks! 

Over the last 7 weeks I have been focused on being in Love. We have spent every waking minute together that we possibly could and it is Wonderful. Then life happens and you have to get real and make the changes necessary to make a go of the long haul together. That is if that is what you want to do, and for me and Gregg, well we do.  Adjusting our schedules, figuring out likes dislikes and needs, all that, well it's been fun. I have wanted this for a long time. I wanted it to be with someone I really loved and now I really get to do it! I'm so happy. I know mush mush but hey deal with it! Ha ha! I have never truly been in a relationship where two people worked together toward a common goal. I know right? how can that be? I just always fell into being with guys and never truly tried to make it something more. Usually we were both so messed up one way or another we never really cared and were with each other for the mere convenience of it. Sad I know. So slowly but surely we are figuring it out and it's been great. 

Eating out and drinking

has been the norm, and my weigh ins have shown that. I know I could've planned better and drank less but I didn't. so I was in a Rut and had to work out of it. I still haven't gotten back to exercizing, but I did refocus my food tracking, beer drinking and eating right efforts and it payed off. I lost 4.2lbs this week. I earned another 5lbs star from WW. This brings me to a total of -15lbs since I first started. My total could have been so much better but I'm glad to finally be at this point and not back to the bitter beginning. I shared my desires with Gregg and he too would like to see me succeed, if not join me in my efforts. So I have his support and he is trying to encourage me to go hiking with him too. I keep turning down his invitations because of the pain I suffer in my feet when I  hike. So for the immediate future I will try to find other ways to get in some exercize. It's encouraging to me though that I have his support and that of my family and friends. This I knew would be a long hard road for me, but I will make it. One way or another I will make it to my goal.

I forget!

OMG! Really Judy? I have lost, misplaced or forgotten my phone so many times in the last two months it is freakin ridiculous! So much so that my friends on Facebook are still cracking jokes about it. Then yesterday what do i do? I lost the keys to my Gas cap. sheesh! I had to have it broken off and bought a new one just to put gas in my truck for the week. I swear if my head were not attached I'd forget where it was too!

On the bright side

We have managed to work out a budget to save money for both of us. I went through the boxes I have had stored in the Garage for  about 12 years and decided to get rid of most of the books that are there. I did save some of them, but 7 boxes are going to the book exchange and I'm going to get some music or new books, or if the price is right I'll just take the cash. 

I am looking forward to doing some fun things too. I am going tubing down the Salt River this Saturday with friends. Then our SCA camping event Too Darn Hot is happening the following weekend and sometime in there I am going to go see Magic Mike with my BFF and Sister! Woo hoo for Hot Men Stripping! Then at the end of the month of July for Gregg's Birthday we are going to California to see his friend band play, The American Wake. I am really looking forward to this, and my Bff and her husband are joining us! 

I have much to be Greatful for lately and I couldn't be happier. So until next blog.......Muah! 

Don't Be Anastasia!

Dear Judy,

 

There are a few things in WW life that I've come to accept.

The reality is that not everyone is ready. Not everyone is truly committed. For many, while the stated goal is to lose weight, the implied goal is really not to gain weight.

That's how you get the cluster of older ladies in your meeting who've been doing WW since the days of making your own ketchup and never show any meaningful progress.

In their minds, the alternative of gaining weight is enough to put their butts in the seats, but the reward of actually losing weight and being healthier isn't strong enough to incite them to action or to change their habits.

Like Anastasia, they "track" intuitively. They've done the program so long that they just kinda "know" what they're eating. In reality, they don't. And if they're honest with themselves, they probably don't care all that much either.

Working with these folks at the scale is a real challenge. Your first instinct is to try to help. But, they don't really want the help because they don't really want to change. It's remarkably frustrating.

 

They are long on excuses why they can't do this or that because they are busy with bridge club or church or whatever. Those excuses are what they use to justify the lack of progress on their WLJ, when it's really a commitment issue at the heart of it.

Anastasia is one of those ladies. We are her blue-haired friends (in the computer) that she will show the pictures of the grandkids to. We are the ones that go on that weekly 20 minute walk with her while she talks about her nephew's wedding in Peru. Or her 9th cruise to St. Croix. Or how she felt like Shamu on the last cruise and *this* time she's serious about dropping the weight.

And we'll knowingly pat her hand and tell that she can certainly do it. We'll offer to join in that effort and do an extra lap with her that day because that's what good friends do.

We'll commit to an extra walk a week - to Starbucks, of course. Where we get scones because we earned them with our heavy-duty exercise walking to the corner and back.

And then the first rain conflicting with the walk comes and we just decide to drive to Starbucks instead, don't we?

And we go to that meeting every week and nothing changes.

We can only try kicking people in the butt so much, before you come to accept the futility of that effort. They have to want change and act upon that desire.

MANY of us in here aren't there yet. MANY of us are likely destined to drive Buick Regals, 20 miles under the speed limit, in the left lane. Because we're in a hurry to get to our WW meeting...................

 

 

 

 

 

Losing Focus and Finding Love

OOPS!

Oh my gosh, I know, I have been at this for 16 weeks now and very little weight has come off. I even put almost 4 pounds back on over the past two weeks.  Yikes!  I told myself though that this time I was not going to give up no matter how many times I screw up. Lately my focus has been on other things. Planning for Highlands War, Going to War, Making poor choices for food at war, not taking advantage of the opportunity to walk more at war. Yeah and then there is the time spent with my Love. 

Yep! I said it I'm in LOVE!

I have spent almost all of my free time with him too. We have been lazy getting to know each other, hanging out at home drinking beers on the patio, going out to dinner, hanging out with friends, that I slacked off. Yep it's all me. I would love to put the blame on someone else but really it's all on me, I know better. So I had to ask him, Gregg, the man who holds my heart, to help me be more active.  He said that he would also like to get down a few pounds and get in better shape himself. Now we are walking together every evening. Yeah so far it has only been for the past 2 nights, but if it had not been for him encouraging me and making me go I probably would have made excuses not too. "My feet hurt" Is the main one. It is true my feet do hurt but I don't want that to stop me. I want to change that. Just means that I have to take off some of the weight which will help with the pressure, and I have to do stretches to help with the inflamed tendon, the Plantar Fascia, otherwise known at Planter Fasciitis. I also suffer with heel spurs, little pointy growths on the bottom of my heels of calcium that build up on the edge of the heel bone where the PF tendon connects. NOT FUN!  Which is only fixed by going in with a knife and scraping it off. Surgery. Without Insurance that is not going to happen anytime soon. Oh well. 

Being In Love

I have been alone for a very long time. In my opinion 12 years. Yes I tried with a couple of guys but none of them were really in love with me nor I them. Well I will always love one of them, but he will never be the man I fell in love with again. So that was doomed anyway. I have searched and given up hope that I would ever find someone who would like me let alone love me. Man did this one take me by Surprise. I knew him for almost 2 years before we ever connected like this. I didn't want to be his second choice and he was with someone. So I let him be. His situation changed and he came calling on me. He and I laugh, we talk, we hold hands, we kiss (its been a long time since someone liked to kiss me and I'm a good kisser, LOL), we hold hands, I was not expecting to fall for him, but I did. I even resisted for a short while not believing I could love, wondering if I knew what love is. It sort of hit me all at once one night. It surprised me a great deal. I didn't believe other people when the told me that if someone loves you it doesn't matter what you weigh. It doesn't matter what you look like. They will love you for who you are. I wanted to believe that was possible, but I had a great deal of doubt. I had been alone for a very long time.  I truly am surprised by this man. I am still going to lose weight for me because I want my self image to be what I believe it should be for my own personal happiness. I am forever grateful to know his love for me doesn't depend on whether or not I reach my weight loss goals, He fell for me the way I am. What more could I ask for?  I really think were going to be very happy together for a long time. So once again My heart hopes, My mind has faith and now I truly believe I know Love. 

I am a very happy girl. 

<3

1st Corinthians 13 verse 13

(my verse, my device, my truth)

And now these three remain: Faith Hope and Love the greatest of these is Love

Thanks God. 

Ramble on....

Slow and steady wins the race. 

Often we get in a hurry to lose the weight and in that rush disappointment ensues and we just lose focus. I am really trying hard not to lose focus 13 pounds in 13 weeks is a good average. I keep telling myself that. I can be such a player though. I am selfish. I know sacrifice is key and let me tell you I have not given up anything. I still drink alcohol, I still eat pizza, and I still think that if I gave up on these for a while my loss would get better. I could also exercise more too. Here is also where the selfishness comes in, my boyfriend. sigh. I spend an awful lot of time with him and I sacrifice my exercise time to spend with him. I know I know I could ask him to exercise with me and I'm sure we could get creative with it. I also know he is more than willing to engage, I guess what it really boils down to is me. I Just need to Do It!

Like right now I have a brand new bike that is sitting in the back yard that I have ridden less than 5 times since I bought it. I really need to plan this out more. It is only getting hotter out there. I haven't been out for a walk in over 2 weeks now too. On the other hand Highlands War is coming up and I know that will involve lots of walking and hopefully some dancing. I am also sure my diet will be in more control there as well as I will only be eating what I bring. I am usually good about my own food. I only buy stuff that is good for me. Usually it's the people I am surrounded by that introduce the "bad choices" into my day. Such as the "drug rep's" bringing pastries and leaving them on my desk. My roommates bringing Cakes and Cookies and leaving them on the counter. Friends with their come over we are BBQing ribs. I mean I am truly a food lover and who doesn't like BBQ Ribs? There are days that it can be really hard to stick to the plan. Especially in my busy social life. This is the first weekend in over two months that I am actually home being lazy and doing absolutely nothing but indulging in a truly enticing book. Ah it has felt lovely!

Boyfriend

I have not had one of these in quite some time. Yes there have been men in my life coming and going but none that I took seriously. Yup I said it, None that "I" took seriously. 

I am very protective of my heart. One counselor told me one time "You don't build walls, no that would be to boring for you. You sit on a pile of bricks and when someone gets close enough and threatens you, You throw Bricks."

I had to agree. I was violently reactive at that time in my life. I don't believe I throw the bricks any more though I don't believe I have abandoned them entirely either. I think now I just get quiet for awhile and then address the issue when I am ready. Gosh I grew up! Crap when did that happen?!

So having a boyfriend has been quite a learning experience. Though I think this is a good one as we seem to be pretty compatible in lots of ways. He says he likes that there are no guessing games with me, which I like. I like that I can say anything to him. Like "go away" and he does without getting all butt hurt about it.  We tend to spend every free moment with each other and that I know will change as we grow closer. Someone said about us recently that we were in the "honeymoon stage" still, Yeah she's right we are. I like it! 

So I have Rambled on not sure I said anything too awful interesting but it's nice to put down my thoughts sometimes. Thanks for listening......

Lost again!

 2 pounds

That is no small feat my friends. It seemed like I overdid it when I shouldn't have and that I didn't do enough exercise and yet the scale was kind. I am glad because some days you just want to have that certain something and you know you shouldn't, well I gave in a couple of times eating Pan Pizza for one. I have no idea why  I lost weight but I did. 

Is it really that hard to believe?

I definitely have changed my habits and I am certainly mindful of what I am doing even when I make a choice to eat something I probably shouldn't so the long term mindset is kicking in for sure. I also noticed this week that I am able to stop myself from going super overboard and that I am able to keep the portion sizes down and still feel satisfied. So even though It felt like I did bad I guess it truly is setting in to be a habit heading towards a lifestyle.  I went to a couple of parties and on all of the occasions I made sure to bring healthy choices whether it was fruit tray, veggie tray, and lite beers. That way I always had something good to choose from. I also made good choices at the bar, picking Bloody Mary's instead of dark beer or something else high in sugar or calories. I know I must have gotten in some exercise swimming around the pool playing with my friends that I did not account for either.....so I guess all in all I am thinking about things and making better decisions and that It's not impossible to believe I could lose the 2 pounds this week. I do know that it is not going to get any easier though and that I need to keep focused if I am going to reach my goal. The more weight I lose the less food I get to consume in order to lose. That means soon enough the alcohol consumption is going to have to be cut back even more. I'm OK with that. I think! ha ha ha!

Measuring up

So way back when I started this journey before I fell off the proverbial wagon, I took measurements of my arms, thighs, waist, bust and hips. I am undecided whether or not to use those as my starting point now, or just remeasure. I did those measurements when I was at my heaviest and technically that is where this journey started. I just wonder if It would just be wise to start with my measurements from now. hmmm. Any thoughts? Out with the old and in with the new? What say you? Is anybody reading this.....LOL

Until next time...............

I finally reached it! minus 10lbs!

Yay!

Boy were there some ups and downs. I was worried about today because the last 2 weeks were not so good with gains, but I did good. The loss for today was a total of -2.8lbs put me right over that little goal I was reaching for. Now to aim for my 10 % goal of -23 pounds will take me to 207 lbs.  I figure if I get down to the nitty gritty and get in some workouts, watch my alcohol intake it shouldn't take me more than a couple of months to get there. Though I'm not putting a time limit on it, I'm just going to reach for it and keep on with it no matter what. So as you see in the picture above I got a Ribbon for my efforts from WW. They give you little things like this, a ribbon for every 10, a key chain for your 10% charms for sticking it out and reaching other goals. So it will be fun to see those as i get them. 

So I went a bought me a bike, nothing fancy just the Kmart special on sale for $79. bucks. 

I've gotten on it 3 times so far. I really need to prioritize some time to go riding. I can always think of something else I could be doing, ya know?! So far I am enjoying it though. I used to go walking on my lunch hour but it is starting to get too hot to go. I know 82 degrees isn't that bad but I do have to work the rest of the day and don't wanna stink to high heaven all afternoon. So in an effort to replace that walk I plan to ride my bike in the evening. At least at home I can clean up afterwards. I just got permission to go over to my friends house and use his workout machine, i think it's an elliptical, but not positive.  Plus, he lives close enough to ride my bike to and from! I'm excited, Yay!

Hello Kitty!

I had a really crappy Monday yesterday. So much so that one of my patients from work felt like doing something nice to cheer me up. She sent me an Edible Arrangement. AWE! Made my day. I totally wanted to cry but you will never see me do that! Not at work. ever. I saw the delivery guy walk in and thought the delivery was for another one of my coworkers cuz it was her birthday. So I asked who he was looking for and he said "Judy" I was like WHAT?! thinking in my head who would do this for me? So trying not to tear up I signed for it and ran back to my desk. I called the patient and thanked her. She really and truly made my day! Too bad it wasn't from a certain guy sigh!  

Maybe someday.....

Holding the frustrations at bay and not giving up!!

One day I'll get it right!

I try and I try and I try but I am always having fun with friends and my weight loss journey hits speed bumps. I am in week 8 and down 8 pounds. I know 1 pound a week is good but honestly I've been going the wrong direction for 2 weeks now. It's the beer and good food. I know it is. I keep telling myself I can do this and Believe me I try but I waver or I don't count what I'm eating until after the fact and It costs me. So last week I gained 0.6lbs and this week I gained 1.2lbs. Today (Wednesday) Starts my week over and I am going to do my best to track my food first so I know going in just how much I am going to consume and I will make good chioces!

Oh and to my "FRIENDS" stop being so discouraging by saying "you're hanging around the wrong crowd for that" or "why are you drinking that crappy low calorie beer" or "dont you like my food" it just is not supportive and makes me feel guilty. Even though I know it shouldn't. I also don't want Food Police for friends. If I say no just accept it and don't take it personal. OK? Thanks!

On the bright side...

I bought a bicycle! It's nothing special just a bike from Kmart that cost me less than $100 bucks. I know I am not ambitious enough to go out and ride more than a mile or two right now but it is more than I was doing. I miss Riding with my Krusty Pirate, he is a lot of fun to hang with, but he moved away and now I'm going at it alone. I am sure I can find someone who will go with me but for now I'm happy to ride alone. I have a couple of friends who live within a mile or two so I have destinations and not just random wandering, that's fun too sometimes don't get me wrong. I bought the bike cuz it's starting to get hotter out there during lunch hours and my walks are not going to be an option soon. Been thinking of lugging my laptop to the office and doing a workout video in the spare room we have there. We'll see how it goes....

Everyday life, work and fun.....

Work is changing my Position in the office a bit. I will no longer be working with the PA, but with Dr. L instead. I am kind of looking forward to it. It will be a challenge and my hours will change a bit but I like him and we seem to work well together. Definitely going to be busier in some respects though.

Met some new friends at Estrella War a few weeks ago and have been having a good time getting to know them. My other good friends also started a dinner club including the new friends and the first event was a great success! We had lots of fun, good food, everybody brought a dish and made it there. It was awesome! Going to do that again soon.....and I'm going to plan for it better this time! Though I don't think it was that particular night that did me in, I believe it was the night before that did that, I will have to choose one night a week to have that kind of fun and not twice a week.

Attention from a boy!

Yep, me, someone thinks I'm cool to hang with and is paying attention to me a lot lately. I'm flattered and glad I have someone to spend time with. I have been alone for a long time and well.......it's nice. No not calling it a relationship or labeling it yet just enjoying each others company for now.

So that's what's up in my life. Looking forward, staying positive, looking for ways to make this work and keepin on keepin on.....<3 U All!

Week 3 and I'm a LOSER again!

Yay! -1.8 lbs!

I ate 4 slices of pizza on Friday had drinks with friends on Saturday, ate those darned little yellow cakes my roomies bought to tempt me with, all within the guidelines outlined by WW, and I lost! 

NO my roomies didn't really buy the cakes with sabotaging me in mind but darned if they aren't tempting. So I at them. 

This week has been good. I actually did some sewing, Yes I said sewing. Me, no really, I sat down at a sewing machine and put together 3 pairs of pants. Mind you nothing fancy but for me a real accomplishment. If anyone ever said to me before in my life that one day I would sit at a sewing machine making my own clothes I would have laughed in their face. So I am pretty proud that I was able to do it. I had the awesome guidance of a friend to help me, but I did it. I actually want to go shopping for fabric to make more stuff. I have a feeling if I keep losing weight I'm going to have to make even more clothes. I guess I will be busy!

Short blog tonight, I just wanted to share my success on the scale! 

til I blog again................

WW I'm BACK!

Here I am again, I know, Will I ever get to my goal? God I hope so! 1 & 1/2 weeks ago I decided to recommit to Weight Watchers. I officially weighed in at 230 pounds. So I gained back a few. My 5% goal is to reach 218. I lost 4 pounds in the first week. So, so far, I'm doing well. I have chosen Tuesday night as my meeting night but don't log my weight into the WW tracker until Wednesday morning. I wanted the tracker to start my week on Wednesday not Tuesday so that's why I don't officially enter my weight until Wed even though I weigh on Tuesday night. Makes sense to me so that's how I'm doing it. I have decided to pay for the WW meetings so that I have the accountability and support of the people and my leader. They all seem very nice.

Party Girl!

Yeah you know me forever the social butterfly. It has not stopped. I am having to learn to plan out my parties and camping events with much care. Also my alcohol intake. I can drink on WW but I most definitely have to watch the amount I consume. In my first week back to WW I had 2 happy hours to get through on Friday night, a Costumed party on sat night, and the Renaissance Festival on Sunday. It was a little tricky to get through but I did it and still managed to lose weight. So Woo Hoo for me!

Estrella War is coming up at the end of this month. I truly have my work cut out for me on this one. I will be away for 5 days and have to plan out the entire trip of food, drink and fun. Lucky for me the campsite is pretty big and I will be doing a great deal of walking. This will totally help me out as far as calorie burning. I pretty much think I have the weeks menu planned with lean meats, stirfry veggies, Yogurts, Hummus and Veggie trays, and things like that. We are doing a Steak and Potatoes Night and I plan on bringing my Sweet Potato for that! Lots of Fruit for snacking as well. So I pretty much have that covered. Now to remember to say NO to all (okay Most) the offerings of "hey try my mead, I brewed it myself" or just take tiny little sips of them. Some of them are really really good though. Plus I will be one of those people as I have made my own cordials to pass around too!

Anyway's....

I'm back and will be again sharing my journey with you as well as my life. I will write to you again next week with week 2 weigh in results.

bye!