Sunday, May 20, 2012

Ramble on....

Slow and steady wins the race. 
Often we get in a hurry to lose the weight and in that rush disappointment ensues and we just lose focus. I am really trying hard not to lose focus 13 pounds in 13 weeks is a good average. I keep telling myself that. I can be such a player though. I am selfish. I know sacrifice is key and let me tell you I have not given up anything. I still drink alcohol, I still eat pizza, and I still think that if I gave up on these for a while my loss would get better. I could also exercise more too. Here is also where the selfishness comes in, my boyfriend. sigh. I spend an awful lot of time with him and I sacrifice my exercise time to spend with him. I know I know I could ask him to exercise with me and I'm sure we could get creative with it. I also know he is more than willing to engage, I guess what it really boils down to is me. I Just need to Do It!
Like right now I have a brand new bike that is sitting in the back yard that I have ridden less than 5 times since I bought it. I really need to plan this out more. It is only getting hotter out there. I haven't been out for a walk in over 2 weeks now too. On the other hand Highlands War is coming up and I know that will involve lots of walking and hopefully some dancing. I am also sure my diet will be in more control there as well as I will only be eating what I bring. I am usually good about my own food. I only buy stuff that is good for me. Usually it's the people I am surrounded by that introduce the "bad choices" into my day. Such as the "drug rep's" bringing pastries and leaving them on my desk. My roommates bringing Cakes and Cookies and leaving them on the counter. Friends with their come over we are BBQing ribs. I mean I am truly a food lover and who doesn't like BBQ Ribs? There are days that it can be really hard to stick to the plan. Especially in my busy social life. This is the first weekend in over two months that I am actually home being lazy and doing absolutely nothing but indulging in a truly enticing book. Ah it has felt lovely!
I have not had one of these in quite some time. Yes there have been men in my life coming and going but none that I took seriously. Yup I said it, None that "I" took seriously. 
I am very protective of my heart. One counselor told me one time "You don't build walls, no that would be to boring for you. You sit on a pile of bricks and when someone gets close enough and threatens you, You throw Bricks."
I had to agree. I was violently reactive at that time in my life. I don't believe I throw the bricks any more though I don't believe I have abandoned them entirely either. I think now I just get quiet for awhile and then address the issue when I am ready. Gosh I grew up! Crap when did that happen?!
So having a boyfriend has been quite a learning experience. Though I think this is a good one as we seem to be pretty compatible in lots of ways. He says he likes that there are no guessing games with me, which I like. I like that I can say anything to him. Like "go away" and he does without getting all butt hurt about it.  We tend to spend every free moment with each other and that I know will change as we grow closer. Someone said about us recently that we were in the "honeymoon stage" still, Yeah she's right we are. I like it! 
So I have Rambled on not sure I said anything too awful interesting but it's nice to put down my thoughts sometimes. Thanks for listening......

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