Saturday, November 30, 2013

I can't find my Happy................. :(

Dealing with life in general can suck sometimes.
I can't seem to focus on my diet. I am not happy with myself. I hate the way I look. I feel down quite often these days. Wondering if I made the right choices. Wondering how do I move on. I Can't go back and have do overs. I can only move forward, but how? I have no motivation. I can't see the light at the end of this tunnel I'm in. I am literally on the verge of tears all the time. Just putting on a happy face because nobody can really help me but myself so no point in dragging them into my misery. Can't say squat on facebook cuz if you do your all Drama. Well FUCK! Sometimes i just wanna give up and give in. Can't though so here I am stuck in a pitiful rut with no light at the end of the tunnel yet.

May as well go read and go to sleep......

Sunday, November 17, 2013

And the Journey begins AGAIN! Take 3 or is it 4? jeez

Ain't THAT the truth!
So yeah, it's been awhile since I wrote a blog, bothered to care about my health, and/or try to lose weight.  So, here I am, my last weight at the Dr's office was 230. My Fasting blood sugar was 201 and my Hemoglobin A1c was 9.7 YIKES! To top that all off I measured my waist and it is a blazing 49" inches. Total Cholesterol was 218, Triglycerides 276, LDL's 174. REALLY!?! I have no one to blame but myself. Dr. B has added on a new medication to help bring my blood sugars down too.
I should say so. I got off my ass and went to the gym today. We have a pretty nice one on property and it's free. So no excuses. I am making the commitment to do better starting today.
Goals for this week: 
  1. I will workout 30 minutes on the elliptical on sunday, wednesday, and saturday.
  2. I will input my food intake into Sparkpeople and try to stay within my alloted Calories everyday.
  3. I will take a fasting blood sugar every morning and keep a record of it.
  4. I will come back every Sunday from here forward and blog on my progress good or bad. 
Ok there I did it, I made some goals. Attainable ones me thinks. I'll be back in a week and let you all know how it goes!