Thursday, August 26, 2010

Delusion or Reality?

When I become "Hot" Some guy is going to fall in Love with me and want to take care of me. My whole attitude will change and I will be a different person.

I posed this question on the WW message board just to see what people think, because I think that a lot of women out there actually belive this. Sometimes I am one of them. So I wanted to get perspective on the thought. Here is what I got by way of responses. I am not going to include names just their responses.

You want honesty, right? :D Here it comes.
I think it is delusional to think that life is going to suddenly be 100% perfect just because you lose some lbs.
......but i think it's normal to have an attitude change. That part is not delusional.

It's not the *most* delusional thing I've heard today... I work with schizophrenia patients
But, the right man will fall in love with you, not your dress size. You don't want to date a Shallow Hal, do ya?!  

I know plenty of skinny, beautiful, wonderful women who don't have any man in their lives (not necessarily by choice) and some who have true jerks.
And I know women who are overweight who have wonderful, amazing men in their lives.

When I was thin and (if I do say so myself) pretty hot....had the most awful abusive, self-centered man god ever created in my life...
so yeah, dillusional. I think it all comes down to how you feel about yourself and that's what is either attractive or not.
Love yourself...every lb of you and others will too.
I pick, unrealistic. haha It could happen, it could happen now by the way...personally, I don't think skinny should have a part in it.
Delusional, no. You are a little misguided perhaps. Once you get in shape, you may have a larger pool of interested guys to choose from, but if you don't take stock of your self-worth, you could end up with a jerk. Maybe a hot one, but who cares about that if they are ugly on the inside?
The thought of it is normal but the reality of it is dilusional.
No matter what your weight is, there is no knight in shinning armor. However, there are really good guys out their just no knights. The good guys will love you no matter what your weight is. Beauty fades and dumb is forever and the good guys know it.

when you are large they will barely look at, I don't think you are wrong. You may not find the right one then either, but at least more will look and you may have a better chance. IMHO.

When I finally got to goal, something inside of me change. I became more confident and secure with myself, which lead me to be happy. And instead of shying away from other people, I actually gravitated towards people. I have a more active social life with friends and new friends now then I did at 265 pounds, and I credited to losing weight for the above reasons.
So yeah, I dreamed that once I got to goal my whole life would change for the better, and it did. But the weight loss was not the direct cause of it, the weight loss caused a change in ME which was the cause of it.
Wow Smart ladies!
Obviously I only chose a few select answers as the thread was quite long on the message board but these were the ones that struck home with me. I have to agree with the ladies, especially this last one, where she said "the the weight loss caused a change in Me which was the cause of it".
What was my conclusion.....
I am a pretty outgoing person. Generally I am not afraid to speak my mind, especially if I have been drinking. I have noticed in crowds of new people I am a bit more shy until I  get to know them better but still if asked a direct question or my opinion I'll give it to you. I try new things all the time and I do not hurt for friends. I will find new ones if i get to feeling lonley only adding to the friends  I already have. Now when It comes to men that I may be interested in.....sigh. I dont know what it is. I guess I can be a bit tough, strong willed, independent in some ways, and yet dependent in others. Men used to look at me more often when I weighed 145lbs and I have to say I loved the attention. I miss it. I feel like there is a part of me missing because I have gained weight and Im not going to get that part back until I lose it. I know I am a fun person but I dont get the responses I used to get back then as I do now.
So do I think that I am going to find Mr Right just because I lose weight? Maybe not but as the ladies said more Mr's will be interested and Ill have more to choose from.
Accountability statement:
Made it to the Gym both yesterday and today though a little later today as I slept in. I have to make a little confession that I have been smoking here and there for a couple of months but last week I actually bought a pack of cigarettes. It lasted me over a week but I am beginning to feel the nagging wants/need to have one here and there. So I threw away the pack that I had and I am once again going to try and stay away from it. I cannont go back to smoking it was killing me slowly but surely. I need to remember that.

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